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Home > Junk Male > December 2010 > Evel Knievel: A Junk Male Tribute (Part 3)

Evel Knievel: A Junk Male Tribute (Part 3)


Every new beginning starts with some other beginning’s end...


Following the crash, Evel was propped up by an aide, and he addressed the crowd in a slightly distracted way, whilst he mentally counted whether he still had the correct quota of testicles after his dive over the handle bars. “Ladies... Gentlemen... and children... of this... great.... country... you have... just seen.... my last jump. Because... after this... I will never... ever... jump again”.


My world imploded in that instant.


Unknown to me, Evel would need a new refrigerator in the future and he’d have to ‘go back to work’ again. In fact, soon after the crash at Wembley, he announced his intention to jump across the Grand Canyon. But at the time, I was devastated.


I looked forward into the yawning chasm of my ordinary life and wondered who would replace Evel Knievel in my affections. Hadn’t he realised that if he were to retire, I’d need time to mentally interview some new role models? I could hardly go begging back to Roger Moore, as I’d left him rather hastily and he was quite possibly still piqued by the fickle nature of my worship. 


But Evel didn’t retire. He went right on, building hype, bragging and crashing all manner of exotic machinery into an endless litany of ever more inventive obstacles. 


Even though I literally went into mourning for weeks after his announcement, and even though I admit I lost a lot of faith, he came back. Not only that, but he came back bigger, with more bravado, more flash, more glitz, more swagger, a more pronounced limp, and a nice shiny steam-powered rocket to boot (yes, the X-2 Sky Cycle was powered by water. Clearly Evel’s millions were spent digging up George Stephenson for one last feat of locomotive excellence).

So Ladies and Gentlemen... ‘Feeble’ Knievel: The unsteady Boy Wonder; the self-promoting fantasist; the tottering womanizer; the hustling opportunist from a poor background who chose a career that needed 100% balls but a distinct lack of imagination… and the world’s highest paid accident victim. 


RIP my (im)perfect hero.


Junk Male Clothing have now produced a commemorative Evel Knievel Wembley Crash T-Shirt.


by Junk Male on December 16, 2010